Who am I?
Well, how about a world-traveling, nature-loving, skateboard-riding children's author from Laguna Beach, Calif., whose secret aim in life is to swan dive off the top of the Empire State Building into a huge vat of Hershey's Syrup and then drink her way out.
Wait. That's YOUR secret goal, TOO? Then you really have come to the right place!
No? You still haven't found what you're looking for? Jeepers, then you'd better try Google.